A Married Man’s Perspective On Unburdening



Sara mentioned that we downsized considerably within the last year. This is true, and it was difficult and rewarding. I was skeptical at first because I was comfortable. But when I thought about carting our possessions around for the rest of our lives, I became a willing participant. 

As young marrieds, we accumulated together as we were supposed to, adding to the “treasures” we brought into the marriage from our respective twentysomething years. The minimizing has mirrored that: a shared experience of individual journeys to let go. 

The most difficult steps are just dawning, a confrontation with something deeper. I still struggle with the condition that caused the overcrowded house and garage. Flashbacks to profligate and wasteful spending. Purchases I made because I was newly married, I had a home to furnish, a yard to maintain, and I had a good job. I had something to prove to myself and others. I’m not sure of all the causes or even the main root cause. 

One lesson we learned is that seeing stuff exit your house is coming to grips with a monetary loss traced back to the initial purchase. Pennies on the dollar of what you paid for something new. Another is that the intentions you have in buying something, that excitement, that invented need you think it will meet, are never so good that you cannot go without. It fades.

There are plenty of caveats, but that is part of this intentionality, this reflection on what is truly, goodly meaningful.

Legion are the lies of aspirational buying. I strive to not broadcast my status by what I own, what I carry, what I drive. I will not deceive myself into thinking that buying the right things is how I can embody the best version of me. My function as a consumer does not define me. I am more than just a curator of well-reviewed purchases.

#minsgame count: 53