A Story

 This isn't some random ass. His name is Handsome Gus.

This isn't some random ass. His name is Handsome Gus.

Once upon a time in mid-winter, there was a boy with a terribly runny nose. It ran and ran and ran.

What a mess! He could hardly speak clearly, much less sing or yodel.

So overcome with snot was he, he blew his nose into his pajama shirt that was lying crumpled on the floor. Ahh! Yet not five seconds later, his nose was running once more. He blew his nose again. For a second, he felt momentary relief but soon snot began to fill his nose and flow down his face again.

This time, to get it all out, he blew his nose super hard with all his strength. He clenched his belly muscles and ground his feet into the floor and shook as he blew. He blew so hard that he blew his nose right off his face. Shocked, he stared at his nose sitting in the soggy folds of his old pajama shirt.

He must have spent a good ten seconds just staring at it. It really held his attention.

The boy felt sad. It was such a nice nose, his grandmother’s actually. Just smaller and less hairy. But in the midst of his sadness, he noticed how dry his upper lip felt without snot drip-dropping down it. He could breathe again!

“Hurrah!” he cried in elation. Immediately, he flushed his nose down the toilet and ran outside to play. Just kidding, he flushed it and then kept making stop-motion videos on his phone to post to YouTube.

To this day, the boy (well, now he is a man) has no nose. Whenever he is feeling like his face is a bit too spacious and bare, he just straps a party hat around his face. It’s great because if he puckers his lips and blows he can make the tassels at the end of the party hat dance around. It’s quite festive. 

The End.

P.S. I was feeling unqualified and incapable of retelling the story of Exodus and Wilderness for my new writing project (a book!) but then I thought of this story and now I'm feeling slightly more confident that I can summarize a story I've heard a thousand times. Hurrah, indeed.

Sara Mitchell